A bit of Truth, Tall Tale and Humor
Between the innocence of babyhood, and the dignity of manhood, we fmd a delightful creature called a sailor. Sailors come in assorted sizes, weights, and colors. But all sailors have the same creed; to kill as much time as possible of every minute, of every hour, of every day, and the protest of noise.
Their only weapon is the occasional fixing of guns, and sometimes an airplane roaring overhead.
Sailors are found everywhere; on the water, on all streets, in fast moving cars, in taverns and night clubs, swinging from ropes, and jumping through portholes.
Girls love them, soldiers hate them, the cooks ignore them, and their ship protects them.
All sailors are truth, with their fingers crossed, beauty in their uniform, wisdom with cigarettes in their socks, and the hope of the future with a girl in their arms.
When you are busy they usually follow with fantastic tales of the sea --- or elsewhere.
When you want him to make a good impression, his brain turns to jelly, or else he'll deny that he is in the navy.

A sailor is a composite. He has the appetite of a ball player, the digestion of a whale, the energy of a jet plane, the curiosity of a cat, the lungs of an auctioneer, and the imagination of Walt Disney.
He has the shyness of a --- well, I guess they're not very shy at that, but they are as sly as a fox, and have the enthusiasm of dynamite.

He likes girls, strong drinks, comic books, night clubs, pictures, movies, music, any tavern, water (in its natural habitat}, and mail call. Nobody gets so much fun out of talking, water, or breezes. No one else has such small pockets, with no place for poker cards or chips,. billfolds and other personal belongings.
A sailor is a magical creature. You can lock him out of your home, but you can't lock him out of your heart.
You may get him off the ship once in a while, but he can't stay for long.
Might as well give up, he's your captor, your jailor, and your sailor, and when you come home at night with only the shattered pieces of your hopes. and dreams, he can mend them like new with a letter which begins --
"Hi Darling"

Author not known, but I would give him/her credit if I knew.

A Short Story
One morning recently, a young woman got out of bed, stepped into her slippers, slipped on her robe, pulled up the shade, uncovered the parrot, put on the coffee, and answered the phone, whereupon she heard a masculine voice say - "Hi honey, the ship just got in. I'll be right up."

The young woman took off the coffee, covered the parrot, pulled down the shade, slipped out of her robe, stepped out of her slippers, got into bed and then heard the parrot mumble - "Damn, what a short day that was."

The above page also from Carlos...

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